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I'm a bigger guy with a lot of body hair and a beard.I love that in the gay community there is a cute term for guys like me reflecting body positivity."There are people out there who view 'kink newbies' as prey.Anytime anyone—top or bottom—wants to rush into a power-exchange scene, that's a red flag. A good-quality connection with any potential playmate is achieved only through communication.
Great sex and a good friendship make up a solid foundation.(Being a decent human being accounts for the other 110 percent*.) Because if you aren't showing up in kink spaces—online or IRL—your fellow kinksters won't be able to find or bind you. "The leather scene is a diverse place with tons of outlets and avenues, depending on how you navigate your life and learn," said Amp from Watts the Safeword (wattsthesafeword.com), a kink and sex-ed website and You Tube channel."When I was first getting started, I found a local leather contingent that held monthly bar nights and discussion groups that taught classes for kinksters at any level.(Also: There are tons of gay guys out there into spanking, SPANK.So if you aren't finding any, I can only conclude that you aren't looking.) I'm wondering about the application of the term "bear" to a straight man, such as myself.If they are not interested in doing the legwork, they're not the right person for you." Follow Metal on Twitter @Metalbond NYC, follow Amp @Pup_Amp, and follow Ruff @Ruffs Stuff Blog.I'm a 28-year-old bi-curious female, and I ended a three-year straight LTR a month ago."Eighty percent of success is just showing up," someone or other once said.The adage applies to romantic/sexual success as well as professional success, SACK, but showing up easily accounts for 90 percent of success in the BDSM/leather/fetish scene.It's not that they're closeted—most of them go on to have girlfriends, and that's when we stop—and they make it clear they don't want anything sexual to happen. And how do you know they aren't closing their eyes and imagining that you're a woman when you're spanking them?And how do you know they're not bi—at least where spankings are concerned?