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We’re all motivated to think that our views of the world are right and when someone disagrees with us, we feel uncomfortable in their presence.
But when someone agrees with us, they validate our worldviews and as result we want continuing contact with that person.
View the full list Some time ago, I found myself single again (shock, horror!
) and decided to get back into the world of dating.
Understanding the science of attraction can’t guarantee you a date tonight, but it can point the way towards forming mutually benefiting relationships with other people. Well, first, it turns out that one of the strongest predictors of whether any two people will form a relationship is sheer physical proximity.
About a half of romantic relationships are formed between people who live relatively near each other and the greater the geographical distance between two people, the less likely they are to get together.
People in romantic relationships, particularly new relationships, are biased in how they perceive their partners.In dating, first impressions really do count – and not just for the reasons you might think.In addition to picking something that flatters your figure and hugs your curves, we can reveal that it’s not only what you wear that is important, but colour has a whole new role to play in the dating game too!One thing I learned very quickly was that there are no “laws of attraction”, no guarantees of success in dating, no foolproof methods or strategies for getting someone to date you.Human psychology is too complex to reduce to rules or laws of attraction – but that’s not the same as saying that there’s nothing to be gained from understanding the processes involved in attraction.Deciding when and how to disclose intimate information to a new partner is an important part of every romantic relationship and can be the difference between an honest, healthy relationship or a closed, stunted one. Giving the impression of dislike is unlikely to spark attraction because it goes against the grain of reciprocity.Finally, despite what many people think, opposites very rarely attract.But even online, geography continues to have an influence.After all, the point of online dating is eventually to meet someone offline – and it costs more time and money to meet someone who lives further away.As a psychologist who has studied attraction, I felt certain that science could offer a better understanding of romantic attraction than all the self-help experts, pick-up artists and agony aunts in the world.And so I began researching the science of how we form relationships.