Married but looking dating site
In between his kid's soccer game and a pizza party, B.* sends a picture of himself on a golf course.
Earlier, he sent 2,000 words on how he got into the game, the trips to California and Ireland, the way the clouds flood the greens at Galway Bay. The long puppyish emails, the condensation of an entire life into a few breathless paragraphs that allow him to retell the stories his wife has already heard.
He tells me he had a brief affair with a woman from one of his company's offices.
Ashley Madison's president, Noel Biderman, certainly does. "They're saying, 'I want a type of intimacy my partner's not giving me,'" he says.It was wild, he says, and then puts his hand on my leg. is 32, tall and slim, and has been married for two years. There are plenty of men like B., who says he is happily married when what he really means is he is complacently bored. "Either way," he says, "it's driving me crazy."What's terrible is that H. The woman he is thinking of cheating on is still only his fiancée.He's been with his wife since they were just out of college. I remove his hand from my leg; I tell him he doesn't look like a father. He says he did not marry the wrong woman, that he'd want to stray no matter who he was with. In one of his emails, he says he can't write too much, but there are 800 words, and pictures of him and his children. He says she's as close to perfect as any man could hope for, but it's clear he's conflicted."I could never have this conversation with her," he says."She would start talking about the baby, or moving out of the city." She does not wear lingerie for him, like she used to. This man is somewhat detached, but also eager as a boy.It doesn't matter, because he says he can imagine my voice; he says he knows exactly what it must sound like.When he is standing on the soccer field and children are moving around in a blur, he says, he slips out of the game and thinks of me, and if his Black Berry vibrates in his pocket, he hopes that it is me.Dammit, dammit, dammit."All of the men tell me that their wives would never guess they are doing this. "I've never been caught." This one has had affairs before.He has gone home to his wife after renting a room and having sex there with another woman. is in his mid-30s and works in finance, though he wanted to be a scientist. The screen on his phone is taken up by an image of his baby daughter; he moves it aside with his thumb and forefinger to search for a book I tell him he would like. has trouble with eye contact, so he says to his water, "You're beautiful."He has never eaten caviar, so we order a flight.I get a smile on my face when I have an email from you."He wants something from me that is not sex, even if it is disguised as sex. "Why is it I get the feeling I'm missing out on something very important? He says checking his email is his favorite time of day.Here on a site where the idea, ostensibly, is to facilitate no-strings-attached affairs, a lot of men are trying to forge real bonds. He thinks of me at work, he thinks of me when he is birdcalling. On Ashley Madison, wives are mostly reduced to pronouns, and in that reduction they are less a human than a fact that shares their home.