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The Total Package is an athlete, a musician, and an avid traveler.The Total Package is handsome—and you better believe he’s well-groomed.Through high school, college and his twenties, he was always The Guy With A Girlfriend.He spent years enjoying pitying his single friends, and somehow, he’s now 30 and single.He’s also not quite sure why everyone who knows him is trying to figure out “what the problem is.” His parents are worried, never wasting an opportunity to ask him if he’s been dating anyone.His friends want to help, setting him up on dates every chance they get.
His sky-high confidence carried him smoothly through college, and no one was surprised when he landed a smart, sweet, beautiful girlfriend in his early 20s. Find me a group of 30-year-old men and I’ll pick out one overgrown frat dude living with roommates, another guy who just dropped his two kids off at school, a few who are well into their careers and a couple soul-searchers looking for work.Some will tell you that they’ve finally figured it all out and some more will say they feel hopeless for the first time in their lives. But perhaps the motliest part of this crowd is the ever-growing group of 30-year-old single guys.He’s not really sure how to be single but he’s goddamn happy he is, and he’s sure as hell going out tonight.He’s also the arch-nemesis of The Resigned Fiance, who’s in an equally unhappy relationship but just kind of kept going with it, unable to resist the sweet, sweet inertia, and who most certainly does not want to hear about The New Lease On Life Guy’s latest exploits.The Misogynist doesn’t know a whole lot about the other gender, but he can tell you the exact number of them he’s slept with—214.He did quite well with girls back in his earlier days when many were in their attracted to assholes phase, but lately, only those with the lowest self-esteem seem to gravitate towards him.Yes, the woman fit for The Total Package will be the ultimate icing on his cake of perfection.He imagines her often—gorgeous as they come, she turns heads; bursting with charm and charisma, she lights up every room she enters; she’s a brilliant rising star in her career and beloved by her many friends.But The Guy Who Peaked Too Early was just getting started.There was a field that needed to be played, and he broke up with his girlfriend when he was 24.